www.topgear.com
Date: September 29th, 2004
By: Tom Ford
When they asked if I wanted to run a Vauxhall Monaro VXR as a longtemer, I fell about laughing. The Monaro is loud, uncouth and uncomplicated, with a 5.7-litre pushrod engine straight out of the old Corvette. It's rear-wheel drive, and has suspension that looks like I designed it. It's about as sophisticated as a ham sandwich. It is, in fact, the car equivalent of, er, me. And my favourite thing in the world is a good ham sandwich. I nearly tore their hands off at the wrist.
I immediately noticed that it's built with distance in mind. Australian distance, this being a rebadged HSV Monaro from the land of Skippy and 1,000km pops-to-the-shops. Hence the big comfy seats, decent stereo and languid pace at a cruise. I have been given number 24, as is demonstrated by the under-bonnet plate (see picture, right). I'm pleased, as there shouldn't be more than 50 VXRs knocking about the UK, so I shouldn't be seeing any off at the lights anytime soon. Concerns about running such a big motor in a country with petrol prices as they are has caused some concern, but with interstellar gearing (85mph is roughly 2,000rpm in sixth), and a careful first 1,000 miles while running-in, the VXR has produced nearly 25mpg. True, my 90-mile daily commute is a lesson in long-distance cruising, but I'm really impressed.
The second 1,000 miles has brought a slightly different story; if you kick that big unit into life you'll be seeing single figures for the mpg. Truth is, I just can't help it. The Monaro isn't a true driver's tool, being a bit big and floppy for serious racing, but, my God, is it fun. It's a muscle car, pure and simple. And I am loving every single minute of it. The only way I can think about it is that it's the Lotus Carlton of its generation. It's silly, but good. Not so good was a brush with four foreign blokes sliding out of a junction in Neasden after just 10 days of ownership. They clipped the nearside rear, sending me sideways through a set of traffic lights and my heart rate soaring. Nothing coming the other way, and only a damaged wheel, but it made me seriously angry. Luckily the folks at Vauxhall managed to get hold of a new wheel in time for a forthcoming photoshoot and checked the rear suspension. But I can't track the four blokes with no front bumper on their A6. Bum.
• Arrived: August 2004
• Price: £35,595
• Mileage: 2,457
• Test mpg: 23.2mpg
• Recent costs: None
• Recent problems: Bad drivers
Bookmarks