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Nursery Rhymes How They Have Changed

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  • Nursery Rhymes How They Have Changed

    Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
    The structure of the wall was incorrect
    So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

    It's Raining, It's Pouring.
    Oh ****, it's Global Warming.

    Jack and Jill went into town
    To fetch some chips and sweeties.
    He can't keep his heart rate down
    And she's got diabetes.

    Mary had a little skirt
    with splits right up the sides
    and everywhere that Mary went
    the boys could see her thighs.
    Mary had another skirt
    'twas split right up the front
    ...But she didn't wear that one often.

    Mary had a little lamb
    her father shot it dead.
    Now it goes to school with her
    between two chunks of bread.

    Mary had a little lamb
    it ran into a pylon.
    10,000 volts went up its ar$e
    and turned its wool to nylon.

    Jack and Jill
    went up the hill
    to have a little fun.
    Jill, the dill,
    forgot her pill,
    and now they have a son.

    Jack and Jill
    Went up the hill
    And planned to do some kissing.
    Jack made a pass
    and grabbed her a$s
    Now two of his teeth are missing.

    Mary had a little lamb
    Its fleece was white and wispy.
    Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
    And now it's black and crispy.

  • #2



    • #3
      Haha love 'em


      • #4
        Mary had a little lamb
        she took it to a wedding
        thought it was a funeral
        and kicked its ******* head in

        Mary had a little lamb
        she tied it to a pylon
        1000 volts went up its ar5e
        and turned its wool to nylon

        I was walking through the jungle with my diick in my hand, i said hey mother fooker in the king the land, lined 100 women up against the wall and said better 100 dollars i could **** them all, when i got to 98 my c0ck turned blue, said bet 100 dollars i could **** the other two, when i died i went to hell, ****** the devils daughter and his wife aswell.

        Amazing what you remember from school.......nothing useful as you can tell..