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  • 50 pure dead giveaways that your Scottish

    Subject: Scotland


    This should give the Sassenachs something to chew on!!!!!





    50 pure dead giveaways that you are Scottish

    1. Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind, is your idea of good weather.

    2. The only sausage you like is square.

    3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.

    4. You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldjin is someone over 40, and Baltic is cold.

    5. You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as long as its deep fried - Haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken and battered Mars Bars.

    6. You used to love destroying your teeth with - Penny Dainties, Wham Bars, Cola Cubes, and Soor Plooms.

    7. You always greet people by talking about the weather.

    8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia , Deacon Blue, Big Country, etc, you still love it when they are played in a club abroad. (in fact you'll probably ask the DJ to play it)

    9. You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland play a diddy team.

    10. You are proud that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and smoking deaths in Europe .

    11. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday Afternoon with his lamp Paladdin.

    12. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books Every Christmas.

    13. You only enjoy Weir's Way on the telly, when you are ******.

    14. You are able to recognise the regional dilect, (Glasgow) 'Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat, Cheers, magic pal. ( Aberdeen ) Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin up tae? fair few quines in the night, min. ( Inverness ) Ah-eee right enuffff! How's you keeeepeeeen?

    15. You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone shout-Errapolis.

    16. You have witnessed a 'Square Go'

    17. You know that when you are asked which School you attended they really mean, 'Are you Catholic or Proddy?'

    18. You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink, Tunnock's Teacakes, Snowballs and Caramel Wafers, Porage, Macaroon Bar, Baxters Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes.

    19. A Jakey has ask you for 10p for a cuppa tea.

    20. You wait at the shop counter for 1p change.

    21. You know that the right response to 'you dancing?' is 'you askin?' followed by 'am askin' and finally 'then am dancin'.

    22. You associated sawdust with vomit, coz the 'jannie' always, used to pour it over sick in school.

    23. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt.

    24. You don't do shopping, you 'go for the messages.'

    25. You're on a bus and the drunk picks you to sit next to.

    26. You are able to conduct a 20 minute phone call using three words only,-- Awright, aye, and naw.

    27. When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, ' You no well?'

    28. You have heard the following:

    You canny fling pieces oot a 20 storey flat,
    700 hungry weans'll testify to that,
    If its butter, cheese or jelly,
    If the breed is plain or pan,
    The chances o' it reachin earth,
    Are ninety nine tae wan.



    29. You know that going to a party means bringin a Kerry oot.

    30. Your holiday in Benidorm is ruined when you hear there is a heatwave back home.

    31. Scotland go 2-0 up against the French, and you immediately think, getting beat 3-2 was 'no a bad result'.

    32. You can pronounce: McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Kirkcaldy.

    33. You love deep fried Pizza.

    34. You can't pass a Kebab shop after being at the pub.

    35. You are used to four seasons in one day. (winter, winter, autumn, winter)

    36. You can fall when drunk and not spill your drink.

    37. & nbsp;You see people wearing shellsuits with Burberry accessories, and think 'thats class'.

    38. You measure distance in minutes.

    39. You understand Rab C. Nesbitt.

    40. You go to Saltcoats because you think its abroad.

    41. You can make a whole sentence using only swear words.

    42. You know what haggis is made with, but you still enjoy it.

    43. You know someone who planned their wedding around the football fixtures.

    44. You have been to a wedding and the football results have been announced in church.

    45. You are not surprised to find one shop selling ALL of the following: Pizzas, Nappies, Fags, Curries, Milk, Paint, Shoes etc.

    46. Your seaside home has Calor gas under it.

    47. You know that Irn-Bru is a good hang over cure.

    48. You could swear before you could count.

    49. You would 'nut' a terrorist if they tried to bomb your Airport.

    50. You are not only Scottish but Glasgwian when you understand the following- How's it hingin', clatty, boggin', cludgie, Ba'heid, bawbag, and double nougat.
    sigpicUse to have Astra VXR ST2(courtenay Sport ) 281bhp & 323lb/ft
    Gotta L200 4x4 now....Mental
    Who is up for a spot of Offroading

  • #2
    49. You would 'nut' a terrorist if they tried to bomb your Airport.
    LMAO

    Comment


    • #3
      the 'jeely piece song', ..not heard that one for YEARS!

      Wham bars, ..YUM!
      sigpic
      Was TV Mag Featured Astra VXR Nurburgring Edition 353, gone but not forgotten. Current car MY15 RR Evoque Dynamic SD4 Zanzibar Bronze with Black Pack, Magnetic Ride, 20" Forged OEM Stormer Alloys, Fully Loaded xx

      Comment


      • #4
        11. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday Afternoon with his lamp Paladdin.

        Glen Michaels Cartoon Cavalcade came to my primary school

        Comment


        • #5
          We all know who ken is

          Comment


          • #6
            Scots are the only people who would keep their £50 lawnmowers in their garages and their £20k cars on the street.

            I love my Broons and Oor Wullie books!
            sigpic
            Was TV Mag Featured Astra VXR Nurburgring Edition 353, gone but not forgotten. Current car MY15 RR Evoque Dynamic SD4 Zanzibar Bronze with Black Pack, Magnetic Ride, 20" Forged OEM Stormer Alloys, Fully Loaded xx

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by AlexFi View Post
              We all know who ken is
              Ken? I dinny ken any kens
              Last edited by N0ddie_VXR; 19 November 2008, 06:09 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                I know hundreds of Kens up my way! LOL

                Comment


                • #9
                  wot!! no neeps and tatties

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by N0ddie_VXR View Post
                    Ken? I dinny ken any kens
                    Aye a ken

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by AlexFi View Post
                      Aye a ken
                      Aye a ken you ken,you ken
                      sigpicUse to have Astra VXR ST2(courtenay Sport ) 281bhp & 323lb/ft
                      Gotta L200 4x4 now....Mental
                      Who is up for a spot of Offroading

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by rams View Post
                        Aye a ken you ken,you ken
                        Aye a ken you ken, but he disnae ken, ken wit a meen likes

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by AlexFi View Post
                          Aye a ken you ken, but he disnae ken, ken wit a meen likes
                          Aye a ken wit you mean but he does ken , you ken
                          sigpicUse to have Astra VXR ST2(courtenay Sport ) 281bhp & 323lb/ft
                          Gotta L200 4x4 now....Mental
                          Who is up for a spot of Offroading

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by rams View Post
                            Aye a ken wit you mean but he does ken , you ken
                            I dinnae ken that he kens, ow cumm he kens like

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by AlexFi View Post
                              I dinnae ken that he kens, ow cumm he kens like
                              He kens coz he kens everythin,well thats what ken telt me and he should ken...you ken whit a mean like
                              sigpicUse to have Astra VXR ST2(courtenay Sport ) 281bhp & 323lb/ft
                              Gotta L200 4x4 now....Mental
                              Who is up for a spot of Offroading

                              Comment

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