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Just hold me......

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  • Just hold me......

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE:

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

    We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

    She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

    She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

    We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

    I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

    I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.... but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.
    sigpicUse to have Astra VXR ST2(courtenay Sport ) 281bhp & 323lb/ft
    Gotta L200 4x4 now....Mental
    Who is up for a spot of Offroading

  • #2
    hehe thats quite good!!

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    • #3
      hahahaah

      excellent

      Comment


      • #4
        Good one!

        Independent bespoke mapping available see my Facebook or find me at WG Motorworks

        Clique #14

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        • #5
          Very good

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          • #6
            when she said no just hold me i would have just climbed on sorry but thats just me.

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            • #7
              always laugh when i hear this joke

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              • #8
                Seen it before but always laugh when i read it
                Corsa Has Left The Building

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                • #9
                  brilliant

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                  • #10
                    thats well funny..
                    my build thread - http://www.vxronline.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=90714

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                    • #11
                      sigpic
                      GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN!

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                      • #12
                        i thought it was **** lol

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